Back to blogging, turtles and spraying that stuff

For a while I was blogging on MySpace, but the formatting is uncomfortable and visual aesthetics are akin to a Wal-Mart dressing room, so it’s back to Blogspot. The only thing that I don’t like about Blogspot is it’s ability to know it's me before I've logged in. Because it’s linked to Gmail, it automatically loads my blog when I type in the main page’s URL, even when I’ve logged out of my email account. Just another one of Google’s beautifully hegemonic detailing.

I watched part of The Sarah Silverman Program last night. First time, and the jury’s still out. Something not quite funny about that woman. Probably her nasal-drag voice and her gopher face.

I ran over a turtle last night. And it was horrible. I have run over raccoons and harried squirrels and recently witnessed the Look of Impending Death on a young possum, and it didn’t bother me. Circle of life, dust to dust, Bambi to road splat, etc. I was on I-55/70E, right near the I-64 split, in post-work traffic. There are a lot of cars on the road. And I saw him…a box turtle. Just a little guy. And he was trucking it. He was pumping his little turtle legs as fast as he could. You could see the look of determination about him. He was going to make it! He had gotten past one lane of traffic, and only had two more to go. And I saw him plowing forward as fast and as hard as he could and I thought, oh God buddy. I’m so sorry. I know you are trying really, really hard…but you’re not going to make it.

Thump, and he met his Maker under the tires of my Volvo station wagon.

And I thought to myself, “Man, what were you thinking? Didn’t you see those giant, buzzing and vibrating, smelly-hot metal beasts barreling down this road? Aren’t they going approximately 2000 times faster than your sense of perspective can even comprehend? What is so great about what’s over there, that you would step out of the grass and into a patch of cigarette butts and broken glass and go for what you must realize is in impossible crossing?"

See, when some retard squirrel darts across the street (or worse, runs away and then BACK into traffic), I don’t feel sorry for it. It’s fast. Probably faster than my wagon. It made a miscalculation, and now its Stupid genes are no longer available to propagate squirrel idiocy on this earth. But the turtle…that turtle was trying to get somewhere. He was huffing it. I seriously wondered what could have made such a perilous journey seem worth it to him.

I got a little weepy-eyed and said a prayer that hed have plenty of lettuce and bugs when he got where he was going.

So here’s to all the little determined turtles I know. You may end up wedged in the treads of a proverbial Goodyear, but at least you’re going for it.

And finally – and unrelatedly - I love this quote. Whether he’s kind of an idiot, or just simply honest, or both:

"I've seen this on TV a lot and I'm excited to be part of it. I've always wanted to spray whatever that stuff is all over the place."

- Rockies’ right-fielder Matt Holliday, whose team won the NL Wild Card by beating the Phillies in the 13th, on how awesome it is to spray that stuff.